What does it mean to have low self-esteem?
– saying yes when you mean no
– not speaking up because of fear
– staying in a relationship you know it’s toxic
– staying in a toxic work environment
– not setting or trying to achieve goals
– not starting or giving up on something you like because you’re not (yet) good at it
– choosing a safe boring job over the one you love
– comparing yourself to others
– being overly critical of yourself
– over-analyzing your words and actions, worrying about what others will think of you
– feeling like a fraud and one day “they” will discover that you are
– not having time for your own tasks, as you were helping everyone else
– having issues with asking people to pay for your work or ask for a raise
and so on…
It’s a result of having too critical or disapproving parents, life adversities, abusive relationships, being poorly treated by surrounding, setting unrealistic goals, etc. Nobody would choose any of these things by themselves. So why is there a stigma around low self-esteem?
Self esteem is what we think about our value as human beings. We are all trying to hide low self-esteem, even though it’s so obvious from the way we live. Maybe sometimes we don’t even understand how lack of self-esteem manifests in our life – that our overwhelm is a consequence of porous boundaries which are, in fact, symptom of low self-esteem.
Well, news flash – you’re not a kid anymore, and whatever happened at any point in time, it’s not set in stone and you have the power to change it. You’ll not get there by mere positive thinking and doing “I love myself” affirmations in the mirror. The idea behind positive thinking is that it overpowers the negative subconscious over (a lot of) time.
Bruce Lipton estimated that the conscious mind process only 40 bits of data per second, while the unconscious is at 40 million bits of data per second.
Well, beat that.
In reality, even if it’s important to have a positive spin on your critical thoughts; doing only affirmations and forcing “think-pink” without doing the actual work, might at best bring little if any, progress and frustration that nothing ever changes.
The good news is – if you are ready to dig into that 40 million unconscious bits, raise awareness and address limiting beliefs and your negativity, there are tons of material on the subject out there, you just need to commit and do the work.
And if you need the support of someone who walked that path before you, contact me for support.